I prepared this
some time ago but felt I could not publish its contents as my spirit was
so low. However friends coaxed me into going ahead and recommence
blogging, so here we go.
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This year's Lenten
journey began simply enough but little did I know what the Good Lord had
planned for this year! Giving up the usual things such as chocolate
treats, fasting and abstinence, (including blogging of course), were very
quickly superseded by more important events. Lent was not about the
little worldly bits of me which have routinely been offered up, but, as it
should always be, about my Faith.
First was the
total shock in learning of our beloved Pope Benedict XVI's abdication. He
had given so much to us and the church and had so much more to offer.
Next was the eye-opener concerning our Cardinal, which is still reverberating
around Scotland and beyond. Closer to home we learned of our ex Vicar
General leaving the priesthood to get married and finally the departure of one
of our younger diocesan priests, of whom the less said the better. (Update - I believe he has now been laicised).
It was as though
the whole Catholic Faith in Scotland was imploding upon itself. We, the
pew fodder, could not even look to our Bishops for guidance and support
as they appeared to have gone into a silent Lenten retreat such
was their silence. Without doubt they too were sorely grieved.
As Lent continued
so too did further revelations until I began to seriously doubt my faith. Even the election of the new Bishop of Rome,
Francis, as he seemed to style himself, brought little true joy especially
during his inauguration Mass when, at the end of Mass, I clearly observed one
Cardinal punch his fist in the air with a “Yes, we’ve finally got our man
elected” type glee. Not what one would
expect from a Prince of the Church. Pope
Francis’s tag line of “the poor” seemed to be fixed on their material poverty,
which was not too surprising coming as he does from a third world continent. Of course the media loved this but what about
the poor in spirit, the poorly formed seminarians, the poorly catechised
children; surely their poverty is more pressing to the Church. In the Gospel of Matthew 26:11 we hear Our
Lord say “For the poor you have always
with you: but me you have not always”.
With
a heavy heart I started Holy Week. I had
been asked to serve during the Easter Triduum and so travelled daily to
Edinburgh giving the MC apoplexy as I fumbled my way through. It was during the Good Friday service gazing
of the Cross that I re-awoke from my pit of sorrow, one could say almost a cathartic
moment, and once again found the meaning of Christ’s suffering and death on the
Cross. The feeling was so profound my
eyes welled up with gladness, sorrow, wonderment, humility, unworthiness to be
given such a grace. Now I began to
understand the meaning of Lent.
Thank
you Lord for being so patient with one such as me.
